I’ve found a surefire way to get yourself out of the house in the morning

Forget, when you come home on the coldest night of the year, that you had turned off the heat to save electricity during the day. Have it be 59 degrees in the apartment when you wake up.

I was out of the house in 12 minutes, but not before I tweaked something in my neck. I tweaked something in my neck from shaking from the cold and now I can’t turn my head. 

I win this day.