In horror movies, it pays not to be a kid person.

I’ve got this movie “Case 39” on in the background right now, and 20 minutes in I can already tell you the kid did it. THE KID IS EVIL AND WILL MURDER YOU IN YOUR SLEEP. I would never fall prey to this scenario, because I am resistant to freaky children and their emotionally manipulative ways. Poor little whinging child with the creepy eyes says she wants to come live with me? Sorry kid, not going to happen. Stay here and axe murder somebody else thanks.

I mean, I knew this movie was beyond the realm of suspended disbelief right from the beginning when she refuses to date a determined, bearded, social working Bradley Cooper because she’s “too busy with her career.” Shenanigans.

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